An ongoing story of humanity and love in Lebanon: http://blogs.wsj.com/middleeast/2013/05/15/a-small-silent-matrimonial-revolution-in-lebanon/ . It seems that the respect and love between this Shi'i woman and Sunni man is a love of much patience and commitment. They are willing to negotiate the complex religious legal codes of their two sects for a marriage recognized under civil law. They are doing so quietly, although people and the media inside and outside Lebanon are watching and commenting actively, some hopefully, some suspiciously. I am rooting for these brave people!
A Small, Silent Matrimonial Revolution in Lebanon
By Rima Abushakra
Nidal Darwish and Khouloud Sukkarieh made history last month when they became the first couple to have a civil marriage performed and registered on Lebanese soil.
Like most matters of political and civil life in Lebanon, marriage is a sectarian affair. There is no civil-marriage legal framework, and religious leaders in individual sects are loath to sanctify an inter-faith marriage outside their jurisdiction.
“We knew we were compatible, but we did not know the battles that we would face,” said Mr. Darwish, 29 of his marriage to Ms. Sukkarieh, 30.
- Rima Abushakra/The Wall Street Journal
- Nidal Darwish and Khouloud Sukkarieh, who were married in Lebanon’s first civil union.
The Lebanese state only recognizes citizens as members of sects. It does not administer civil matters independently outside that framework. Lebanese courts defer personal matters and disputes to the religious courts of each of its 18 recognized sects. These courts handle issues pertaining to marriage, divorce and inheritance.
Because the bride and groom in this case were from different Muslim sects – he a Sunni and she a Shiite — they could have opted to have a religious marriage without having to change faiths. Still, they wanted a civil, not a religious, marriage.
“We wanted to determine the guidelines that tied us together ourselves. We chose one another in complete freedom and wanted to lead our life together in complete freedom,” said Ms. Sukkarieh.
Accomplishing this, an unprecedented move in Lebanon, was no easy feat. They had to maneuver and finagle their through Lebanon’s sect-based legislative system in order to see the marriage to fruition. Over the course of a year, they jumped through hoops and plowed through red tape, judicial consultations, media scrutiny, political pressure and even threats.
The search for a notary willing to authenticate their marriage contract alone took several months. Usually, these are performed by clergymen and registered in religious courts. Their contract was recognized and registered in civil institutions as any other civil legal agreement.
The couple says their families had faith based concerns, so they visited a sheikh, or community leader, with the Ms. Sukkarieh’s mother. The meeting was a heated two-hour discussion in which it was determined that as long as a Sheikh read a few prayers at the ceremony then they would not be defying any Muslim religious codes.
Their contract did not have to be registered in a religious court. This is tradition and not doctrine, the couple said.
But the reception their union received was not joyous in some quarters. Amongst the harsh condemnations, Lebanon’s Grand Mufti Mohamed Qabbani, the country’s highest Sunni Muslim religious authority, wrote on his website that, “There are predators lurking among us trying to sow the bacteria of civil marriage in Lebanon.”
Still, some politicians, including President Michel Sleiman came out in favor of civil marriage.
Ms. Sukkarieh, and Mr. Darwish signed their marriage contract on November 2, 2012. It was not officially registered by the state until last month.
“I got goose bumps upon reading my civil marriage contract,” said Mr. Darwish. “I felt that it saw me as a person and was speaking a language that I chose with the person I will be sharing a home with.”
The moment was unimaginable for many Lebanese, who are accustomed to political wrangling and sectarian divisions.
Analysts say that while the union serves as an important legal precedent, it is still merely symbolic bureaucratic victory until a non-religious legal code to govern personal matters is put in place.
“We have to differentiate between the establishment of civil marriage and a registration of a civil marriage,” said lawyer Paul Morcos.
“The right to civil marriage exists but the details of its implementation do not. We need a civil law that governs all matters related to family such as divorce children and inheritance,” he added.
Because no such domestic legal code exists, the newlyweds would still have to resort to religious courts to administer issues of inheritance, divorce or custody.
Though it does not administer them, the Lebanese state does recognize civil marriages administered abroad and applies the law of the country where the marriage was performed in the event of divorce.
Many civil rights activists call for the abolishment of the sectarian system altogether, while others find the system ensures that no community overrides another. Former justice minister Ibrahim Najjar has proposed the establishment of a 19th “civil” sect whose members could adhere to a civil code.
No serious steps have been taken to push these proposals forward, but many feel that Nidal and Kholoud’s civil marriage could help force the state to create a body of law for such unions.
“We are living during a time of Arab revolutions. We know Lebanon and a revolution here might cause a war and we are fed up with war,” said the groom Mr. Darwish. “This has been called a silent revolution.”
